The issue with manifestation for myself: letting go.

The most difficult part of manifestation for me is letting “it” go and allowing divine timing to take its course.

 

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that my entire family has some form of control issues. I was arguing with my mother recently and I was telling her to stop doing XYZ because I didn’t want my kids to pick up on that horrible habit. It was then when I looked into my own life about how I was trying to control my destiny by controlling when things should be manifested for me. I looked into my torn relationships with my brother & sister and how I appear rebellious to them but I desire to think for myself and make my own decisions. It was that control. Ugh.

 

I knew then, I had to release this control in order to manifest things.

 

The cycle

I managed to create a habit for this huge thing I desired: I want a loving relationship. I’m happy and believe. After a while, I wonder why it hasn’t developed yet. I get angry. I try to date whomever I can tolerate. It doesn’t work out, I self-analyze. Begin manifestation process again. I needed to change my perspective.

 

The Analysis

Although I had some form of change towards believing my future partner will arrive in my life, the doubt would kick in. That fear caused anger and rash decisions. But what if? What if I change the way I think about this manifestation? What if all roads lead to him? What if I follow the rules to manifestation….live in line with it….believe it will happen...let it go and be okay with whenever it happens because all roads will lead to him. Any move I made, path I took, I will meet him. I could meet him at the grocery store, online, in a car accident. Anywhere. All roads lead to him.

 

With this perspective, I’m at ease. Although my imagination does interceded itself into my imagination, “Oooh, what if today was the day! Yes!.” Then it doesn’t happen and I am disappointed. I can’t do this pattern anymore. Not being hopeful but expecting it to happen the way I want it to because I feel it’s perfect. That’s still control. I have to let that shit go. Finally, Let it go and trust in the divine timing.

 

The problem is control

A part of having control is stating you do not trust divine timing. I do have trust issues as I have felt I have had to work for everything I have succeeded in and I majority of the weight was on my back; even when i didn’t want it to or felt like quitting. It’s a really simple task. I’m ready to change and improve me for the better. So I release the expectation of when it will happen.

 

What to do while I wait?

Well there are plenty of things to wrap up and fix while I wait on my companion. I’ll focus on my goals for 2019 and finishing 2018 strong. Here we go.